Relieved

Lately, or maybe even for a while I've been having a problem with always worrying. I always think, "what if this?' 'whats going happen if or when I..?' Just always stressing sometimes about the future. What will I do, or how will I do what I want to do in life better yet if I'll still be alive. I constantly think on that. After a while it takes a toll on you, it makes you feel tired and honestly it gives me a headache sometimes. Now, I don't do it 24/7 or when I'm out, but when I'm just alone or just have time to think, it happens. It also doesn't help that most of the time I don't express my thoughts to anyone. I mean for me I never been the emotional girl, or the type to express all my feelings or problems. Usually, I just keep in all in which I think its hurting me now. Sometimes I write down my thoughts or even poems expressing how I'm feeling. When I do that I feel A LOT better. My head is clear, my heart doesn't feel heavy anymore, I just feel 100% better. So now I want to promise myself to do that more frequently, its good to do. I think its great to have a book or a place to write about your feelings at the moment, so when you overcome that particular thing or surpass what you was hoping for, you can always look  back on that to see how much you have grew. But back to my main problem, worrying and stressing over stuff. I always tell myself to let go and just worry about what's important and happening now. Not about the future because God handles that. When I do finally listen to myself and do that I just feel relieved and free. I shouldn't worry about tomorrow or what's going to happen to me, family or etc. I just need to keep my faith in God to know that he's in control and just live my life care free. Still cautious of what I do, and what's around me but not to the point the I'm worrying myself to death. Today I just realized how big of an issue this has become. I came across a girls tumblr that I just related to me so much, and how she had some of the same problems I had too. Plus the fact that she was writing and expressing her feelings, that made me feel some type of way. For me, as I said I don't really go and talk about my feelings like I'm doing now. But I just realize theres no problem telling how your feelings, whether you're happy, sad or mad, etc. We are all humans, we all have feelings and theres no problem with sharing them and not to be worried about what others think about or have to say about it. People out there probably feel the same way you do and when they read what you're saying, it may help them in some type of way that you would never know could, by just them knowing that someone out there feels the same way they do. Right now, I just have some type of peace that I haven't had in a while and I love it. Hopefully I can continue with it. Worrying about everything does nothing for me, but hurts me. Now that I know that, I'm ready to stop and just LIVE, I made this blog for several reasons, and now I feel like its really genuine because I'm starting to just open myself up, if I may say that. I want this to be a very genuine and real blog just about me, things that interest me and my life. I will start being better at that one step at a time. I'm not holding anything back anymore.

PS: I know I was kind of rambling and it was all over the place I just had to get a lot off my chest.